Spring Chudisms

It's that time

I’ve gotten plenty of Indians to block me simply by typing “poop” in the replies to their posts.

The future Wehrmacht will comprise of asexual Mestizo zoomers who steal their parent’s credit cards to donate to Nick Fuentes.

Never tell your right wing friends you’re interested in a girl because they will constantly demand to know why she hasn’t sired at least 3 of your offspring within 24 hours of you meeting her.

I really hope Ray Dalio gets the economic disaster he’s been angling for for the last 15 years.

Somewhere in California there’s a VC with an AI startup driving his Mercedes to one of his 12 daily meetings while his wife fucks her pilates instructor on their bed.

Somewhere a trans woman is paying $10,000 to get a quarter inch of bone shaved off their jaw and will still end up looking like Walton Goggins in Sons of Anarchy.

Tobuscus is saying the n-word on Twitter and people are shook.

My dick is still out for Harambe btw, all these years later and it’s still out.

Bernie’s capitulation to Israel finally spells the end of the aloof Millennial podcaster’s hold over leftism.

Never gauge the internet’s fascination with something as an indicator of that thing being popular among people in meat space, see Andrew Yang.

Rich liberals see immigration as a punishment and immigrants themselves as biological weapons, I mean why else would you bring Indians into your country?

You’re not a burden to your family or friends but they’d probably think it was cool if you’d stop acting like a faggot.

The FBI agent monitoring your home has heard you fart and masturbate thousands of times.

No one is more petty and insecure than a black woman who compares herself to a White woman.

By calling the Star Wars prequels underrated JD Vance has done more damage to the brand than Mike Stoklasa ever could.

Every Millennial is hyperventilating over fascism while Gen Alpha is scrawling pagan runes on their desks at school.

The ideal right wing society may never be realized but we can’t let that dampen the joy we experienced witnessing the complete and total failure of liberalism.

The way guys like Eric Kripke can just dangle clumsy anti Trump agitprop in front of liberals like a mother dangles her keys in front of her toddler and utterly captivate them should be studied.

It’s the most obvious grift when predators like Bryan Callen and Russell Brand make right wing pivots to avoid scrutiny after rape allegations emerge, but it’s either that or trooning out.

Yeah man your 12 inch subwoofers shaking every panel in your rusty 20 year old Chevy sounds great, you should definitely drive though a quiet suburb at 3AM.

Lord save me from the tweakers who hang out at the gas station after midnight when I’m just trying to buy beef jerky without getting stabbed.

Saw a White dude in his mid 40s still acting like a wigger, I assumed most guys grow out of that phase after college, I suppose it’s like being trans in a way.

Boys respect free speech, men block thousands of people.

Sobriety is great, but it can’t beat eating a 100mg edible and getting scared.

If I saw my doctor put my symptoms into ChatGPT I’d stop paying my health insurance.

It’s awesome how I have to assume every news update I see online is either an AI generated forgery or an outright lie from a conspiracy theorist.

If I was a leftist content creator and was forced to make another 4 years of videos about how the walls are closing in on Trump only to see him coast through yet another scandal unharmed, as he has for the last decade, I’d fucking shoot myself.

I delete my exes numbers from my phone when I’m sober because I don’t trust drunk me to be stoic in the face of loneliness.

We’re being lectured on normalcy by people who want to popularize the phrase “bonus hole”.

I’m usually surprised when I learn some popular leftist figure is on the outs with the community and whenever I learn the reason why it’s always because they did something like brushing off a land acknowledgement.

What? A right wing egirl has turned her back on the movement for being too misogynistic? If only there was some precedent for this happening before!

If you’re a straight man or woman and you put your name and face on your online profile do you really think people would mistake you for the opposite sex on a regular basis?

Not everyone with pronouns in their bio is a bad poster but every time I see a bad post it’s from someone with pronouns in their bio.

They’re trying to make Timothee’ Chalamet into a dudebro and it’s just like man you already have the twink market cornered just work with what you got.

The only reason you take your girlfriend to a Matt Rife show is if you want her to suck his dick in the green room.

Some dudes whole personalities are taking ZYN and drinking Monster Energy and it’s just as try-hard as any other personality people adopt.

For guys, making the hot girl at work laugh is a memory that can last a lifetime.

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